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guaranteed to get very little sleep, but only because you'll be partying too hard to remember where you bunk.

X Hostel, golden Sands, Bulgaria, the sand might not be that golden, but the beer is cheaper than water, and the Bulgarians love to party like Communism just ended.

Pack for foam parties and 500-person bar crawls.

Oh yeah, and they also have a live firing range, which seems like a terrible idea.

According to legend: More than 100 former guests have had the letter 'X' tattooed on their bodies as a permanent souvenir of their stay.

Located in a grungy, abandoned building, Retox is described by one horrified TripAdvisor reviewer as "worse than a dumpster then again, hygiene was never intended to be a selling point.

Retox management warns would-be visitors: "Do not be surprised to witness vomiting, semi-nudity, sexual acts, and very sloppy behavior from staff and guests alike".

Now that's an endorsement!

Special features: A weekly all you can drink night, (in)famous Jaeger trains, a peep show room with a stripper pole and wraparound couch, and an in-house piercer, for all your drunk regrettable piercing needs.

With a name like that, it'd be hard not to make our list (giggity).

This Portuguese madhouse in the Algarve's backpacker capital of Lagos started as a three-bedroom apartment that housed up to 30 guests on the floor, on the couch, in hammocks, and even on (sic: in?) a freezer.

Nine years later, the Cock boasts five buildings (for over 100 travelers) and throws wild booze cruises and beach parties.

For the ladies: There's The Hen House, Lagos's only all-female hostel and sister property to the Rising Cock.

Despite efforts by management to dial back the party scene a few years ago, this Buenos Aires hostel remains as crazy as ever.

The action's concentrated on both the rooftop terrace and basement bar, while the rooms are sandwiched in-between.

Spot the tourist: Security is tight at Milhouse, and guests are required to wear bright orange wristbands for the duration of their stay.
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